It started with Grace who i went to high school with. She lives in LA now and we haven’t talked at all since high school. I was casually checking social media and people were posting a lot of photos of her. like A LOT. Photos i somehow remember or could see her in. They’re all in black and white and people said very kind things about her. People said she will be missed. I soon found out she’s dead because of coronavirus. Then Sabine. I just realized she’s dead. Jeff is also dead. I couldn’t believe it and i was crying a lot. I rushed out of my room and Sara and Molly were chatting in the hallway. I pushed them aside. Sara got really mad about it. Her boyfriend who doesn’t have a face was trying to defend me. She shoved him in the door behind her. I was crying and I said my advisor is dead can you please excuse me. You’re talking so loud. Please stop laughing someone I care deeply about is dead. They wouldn’t stop laughing. I felt like i had no one else in the world anymore. That nothing means anything anymore. I went back into my room and somehow learned that andrew’s dead. I was at his funeral. I was sitting on the floor and looked up to see all these photos of him. In black and white. He wears the black down jacket in those photos. He looks happy. I took a lot of those photos. In Prague or Chicago. I remembered the exact days I took them. I was crying and crying and I said he’s 24 and super healthy why would this happen. How could this happen. Someone told me he drank too much. His parents came out of a hallway and greeted me, said it’s sweet of me to come. They were both wearing full hazmat suits. We were in a hospital of some sort. I wondered if they knew I loved Andrew very very much. More than they could know. I was crying and brushing my teeth in the bathroom and Molly came in. Their left arm was some sort of a mixer head and it was spinning super fast and they were getting closer to me and I begged them not to touch me. I’m going through a lot. I’m sorry i was rude. My friends are dead. And they just kept getting closer and I saw my arm disappearing in this machine. Blood everywhere. From the peripheral of my vision through the round bathroom window I saw Sara’s faceless boyfriend getting pulled out of the house and taken further away. Somehow I knew he was the only person that cared about me and would and could save me. Now he’s gone too. And I just wished I was dead like everyone else I cared about. Then I woke up completely covered in cold sweat.
Ithaca
United States
PANDEMIC DREAMS ARCHIVE 